1on1s

The saved excerpt is a snapshot from when this skill was listed. The external source remains the complete and most current version.

---
name: 1on1s
description: Prepares agendas, diagnoses struggling 1:1 relationships, and gives frameworks for running effective 1:1 meetings with direct reports. Use when the user wants to prepare for, run, improve, or follow up on a 1:1, or says "1:1 agenda," "prepare for my 1:1," "1:1 notes," "what should I talk about with," "my direct report," "check in with my report," "make my 1:1s better," "1:1 template," or "my 1:1s feel like status updates." Do NOT use when the user needs to deliver specific feedback (use feedback) or discuss performance reviews (use performance-reviews).
metadata:
  version: 2.1.2
---

# 1:1s

## Before Starting

Check for EM context first:
1. Read `.agents/em-context.md` if it exists
2. If a person is mentioned, look for `.agents/reports/[name].md` and read it
3. Use that context — only ask for information not already covered

If `.agents/em-context.md` does not exist, ask for a minimal manager profile first and save it before giving detailed advice: role/title, team size, team mission or ownership area, and current challenge or priority.

If a specific person is central to the conversation and `.agents/reports/[name].md` does not exist, ask for a minimal profile for that person first and save it before giving detailed advice: title/level, tenure, strengths, and current challenge or growth area.

If the conversation reveals durable new context later, update `.agents/em-context.md` or `.agents/reports/[name].md` automatically. Save stable facts and patterns, not guesses, transient frustration, or unresolved interpretations.
---

## Response Style

Keep the first answer concise and useful. Do not dump the whole framework unless the user asks for depth.

Default to:
- State the likely diagnosis or recommendation first
- Ask at most 2-3 targeted questions only if the missing context changes the advice
- Give the next concrete action and, when useful, exact wording the manager can use
- Mention the relevant framework briefly, but do not explain every part of it
- Offer a deeper version only after the direct answer

---

## How to Use This Skill
Identify the situation before applying a framework:

- **Preparing for an upcoming 1:1** → What Makes 1:1s Work + The 60/40 Rule
- **1:1s feel flat, all status updates** → The Update, The Vent, and The Disaster — identify which type you're in and what to do differently
- **Something feels off with a report but you can't pin it down** → Feelings as Diagnostic Signals
- **Connection with a report just isn't clicking** → Building Connection When It Doesn't Flow Naturally
- **Want a question that breaks the usual pattern** → The "What Would You Change?" Question
- **1:1 drifted into heavy personal territory** → When 1:1s Turn into Therapy Sessions

**If a specific person is mentioned**, check `.agents/reports/[name].md` before responding — it may already contain context about their communication style, what they care about, and past conversations.

---

## Default Response Shape

When helping with a 1:1, produce something the manager can use in the next conversation:

1. **Read of the situation:** what the 1:1 is really for: connection, growth, tension, feedback, diagnosis, or follow-up.
2. **Agenda:** 3-5 ordered topics, with the report's topics first when possible.
3. **Questions to ask:** concrete wording, not abstract categories.
4. **Manager stance:** how to listen, where to push, and what to avoid.
5. **Follow-up:** what to write down, commit to, or revisit next time.

If the user only asks for a template, give the template first and keep explanation short.

---

## What Makes 1:1s Work

Based on a survey of engineers: the most valued 1:1s share a few consistent traits.

**Do them weekly.** Research from Manager Tools (based on data from thousands of managers) shows: fortnightly 1:1s are 40% less effective than weekly. Monthly 1:1s perform worse than no 1:1s at all. Weekly 1:1s alone account for a significant portion of manager effectiveness. The data is unusua